i cried the whole night ystd . is like i haf a urge to stop study . stop everything and end my life straight . everything i do is like to them i m USELESS ! ystd had dinner tgt wit agnes and apple darlings . then they came my hse at eleven plus . when i intro them tat they are from NYP now . my mum started emhpysize on they r POLY STU . okay . i do know that going to poly is such a big stress to 4 caring stu . i really do regrets coming back okay ?! is like coming back to sec5 isnt becuz of their faces among relatives ? tey was asking like can go over to apple's hse then they can teach me math . as they score pretty well for math . so ii called da jie . mum picked up . just be4 i finished my q . she started scold scold scold . said wad ur father kept asking where u . u better zi ai yi dian blah blah blah . is like they just think tat everything i do is fa qiao . when at home tui . of cuz u at ur tutor at the room rite . and my own father OWN FATHER said tat me and my tutor was playing in the room instead of studying . everytime he scold me everytime he used vulgar words to scold me . he know how i felt ma ??!! own father said u flirting wit ur tutor and used vulgar words on you . anyone know how i feel ma ? of course they WONT KNOW ! all they care about is only their 4D toto kick boxing the sims attachment working . they went home at abt 12+ . mum asked you took back ur result le right ? so how ? i just replied same lor . whether did i improved they still felt the same and tat is i still flunk right ? cant they just give me some encouragement like u did improved jia you . and not give u so many tuition also de same . duno what can u do in future . or u must ZIAI AGAIN . they dun understand me pls ! my fren are the one who understand me and always lent me their ear and not THEM ! is like i know blood r thicker than water . but isnt it the same ? whether theyread my daries or blog ? same feeling same words BUT NOT THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM THEM ! at home asked them q . either they will teach or looked down on me . if i dun get it 1st time . i asked them 2nd time . they will HAIZ Y R U SO STUPID OR ETC ? is like ask also scold nvr ask also scold . SO ? if at the 1st place they think ite stu r not tat bad let me tell u I WILL GO ITE !!!!!!! okay nvr encourage me fine ! but pls do not SAY IM USELESS ! or go around spreading how useless i m . i go lib u all go there find me . go fren hse kept calling me . PLS IS OBVIOUS THAT U GUYS DUN TRUST ME !! since u guys dun dote on me . dislike me that much till used vulgar words . looked down on me . WHY DO U 2 GIVE BIRTH TO ME ?! I WOULD RATHER U 2 ABORT ME AND NOT GIVE ME THESE RIGHT NOW ! u know how much i envious my frineds' parents ? the trust the freedom they gave to their children will never happen in my life !!!!!!